Lonely

It’s been nearly a year since I split up with my girlfriend. Honestly, it wasn’t the best relationship ever and only lasted about 3 months but it still meant something. It meant I’d definately moved on from that one girl.

And my friends generally thought that was a very good thing 🙂

To put in a little back story I really enjoy being in a relationship or being so close to a person that you feel you know everything about them. I don’t suppose I’m very different to anyone else there, but I find the feeling really addictive and I find myself constantly searching for that feeling again, subconsiously.

Yet, somehow, I’ve managed to resist temptation. Since we split up just after Christmas I’ve not really fancied anyone… Sure, occasionally I’ve thought “I should get to know her better” and “She seems like my type” (not that I really know what my ‘type’ is) but in generall there’s been no longing for someone or thinking about them constantly.

Until now.

Ok so she’s 2 years younger than me but I’ve known her for 3ish years now and she’s one of those people that will always be proactive and get stuff done, she’s someone that wants to be helping with everything. And, hey, she Christian too 🙂

Various friends when I consulted them said “Go for it” and “Gotta try, being lonely’s no good”, even my best friend tried to help with “She’s too young. I’ll disown you.” as helpfull as it isn’t 😛

And this would be fine, except because I’ve opened the doors again, I kinda feel it for someone else too… And that’s not good… Same year, just as confident but I don’t know her very well, we literally just met 2 weeks ago.

I’m not the most talkative person, nor someone that instantly asks for a girl’s number and texts them. I can if I want but, well… Do I want to?

If so who? Girl A or Girl B? Do I go with who I have the most chance with? Who do I have the most chance with? More to the point, what do I do? What do I say?

And so I find myself, once again, lonely. After resisting for so long.